Um, bonjour.
Apologies for mon sudden disappearance. I somehow ended being locked up in mon basement. I don't even remember having a basement...
Merci, monsieur Charlie, for coming in to investigate. It feels good to be back home, oui. It's quite filthy, so I just started cleaning it up. And while cleaning, I found that I have been having the completely wrong mediaction. That really explains why I've been feeling quite, how do you say it, odd during the previous weeks. I need to get that fixed!
*sniff* ...Although, first I'll take a shower and I'd better shave this ugly beard, oui...
Well, did I miss anything, hoh?